Instagram Vs Reality
We commonly see bloggers show photos of “Instagram vs reality.” I never really thought I had an “Instagram vs reality” to share. I am authentic, and I speak the truth. But that's when I realized, yes it is all true but I leave a decent amount of my journey out, mainly because I am sorting it all out myself and the fact I need 9-10 hours of sleep doesn’t make for an exciting post. Instagram is a beautiful thing and has connected me with so many amazing people also looking to help others. I can easily admit my life probably looks more glamorous than it is via Instagram. I am an artist at heart and creating photography is a passion of mine and working with talented photographers I love. I turn down most plans and spend most of my time with my dog. Whenever I am feeling up for venturing out for an event I sleep before and after, not to mention mentally prepare the day before. It is more often than not I can only stay an hour or little more for the brain fatigue sets in and make it's hard for me to follow a conversation. All in all, most days, Instagram Erin and “Erin, Erin” is lying on the couch hugging her dog trying to navigate through the road to recovery and accept the new norm that you can’t get from a picture.
Most days aren’t good days, I have to remind myself often that at the end of the day when I feel like I did nothing productive it's ok to just survive. My dad tends to feel bad for me and wants me to live life and really live it but right now, I can’t. Living life for me right now is taking things at my own pace, in hopes of a healthier, stronger future.
Sure it may appear as if I am all over the place but really I am just at medical appointments. I teach a yoga sculpt class 2x a week, space where I can escape from my reality- sure I might not be physically as strong as my students but it’s an hour 2x a week I get to remember what life was like before (just a little). Many have tried to persuade me placing teaching on hold while I am recovering but teaching is something I need. Most weeks consist of doctors appointment, either blood work or a medication check-in, therapy, vestibular therapy and chiropractor. Not to mention I try to get a massage in there once in a while to help with all the trauma to my neck/head from surgery. And when I am not doing all that work full-time in marketing/advertising and taking care of my dog. When I have no responsibilities I more often than not have to lay down and rest, if I don’t I tend to get sick. My mind is still easily fatigued, overstimulated and sometimes difficult to keep up and remember. Most of my doctors, vestibular, physical therapy takes place in the morning, creating a rather long and sometimes difficult days for me. Each evening I take Milo for a walk and by the end I AM EXHAUSTED sometimes I struggle to have the energy to make dinner and I’ll admit I not only take baths to soothe my neck muscles but sometimes I’m just too tired to stand.
I am currently on vacation with my family right now, as I adjusted my medication this week and wouldn't have been able to work (makes me fall asleep) but everyone went out to dinner and I am back at the house resting so I can hope for a good day tomorrow. Instagram or “reality” to me is pretty similar, looking at most of my photos you wouldn’t know my story, meeting me in person you would never know what I went through 19 months ago. There is always more than what reaches the eye, so share love and be kind to one another.